Love Blog 2018: Dating, Love, Relationships and Compromise

“You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his personal legend(purpose). If he abandons that pursuit, it’s because it wasn’t true love…the love that speaks the language of the World.” ~ Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist.

“six heart accessories” by Jasmine Waheed on Unsplash

Dating and Relationships

The second week of the Love blog 2018 challenge and I am loving my consistency. I did not write about the five love languages from the first week . Right now it’s late to link it up but I’ll write about it as a post. You can also read about love languages as a book by Gary Chapman.

Let’s dive in. All I can say about dating is that I’ve been there, done that and I’m not doing it again, at least not now. Not because I’m still fawning over the past but because I need a break. Also, I am still in school and I believe I have to bring something to the table apart from assignments.😁
Yes at times you long for your point to counterpoint. At times it’s hard but sometimes you need to date yourself and get in touch with YOU.

When you keep dating or rather having the wrong entry to dating so to speak, and notice a cycle, then stop. A Sisyphean complex that needs to cease. Keep rolling that stone and you lose yourself.

Love should motivate you, be truthful, be accepting of the past because your past becomes my past and mine yours. Love should help you grow in faith and purpose. 1 Corinthians 13:47 defines love as not boastful or seeking its own. So if you’re dating/ courting, replace love with the person’s name. If it doesn’t ring in your head. It’s not it.

Faith, Love and Compromise

In my experience, if you have to compromise your faith or beliefs, it’s not love. Serious advice aye😃? Dating tips 101 from Sarah Nderi. Since you’re here let me entertain you😊.

I discovered boys when I was 13, 14 I think. I had a crush on this guy,Let’s call him A. It was mutual and we were always talking even when not. Everyone and their mama knew about it but we didn’t care. We went through a lot of “persecution” about that. First loves are always sweet tied to the fact of naivety and owning up to feelings never experienced. Reminds of Elani Muziki’s song hapo zamani. Long story short, our trains left in different directions but we still talk here and there. Hey A, how you doing😊? I have dated after that but it has proven to be my Achilles heel when it comes to my faith and beliefs. All I can say is if you’re doubting, that’s not it.

Single-hood Theme Song? 

So yes I’m single and I don’t know what my ideal date is. Probably some place with nature, long walks and ice cream.
My current single hood theme song is Dear no one by Torri Kelly. I discovered this song while listening to Pastor Toure Roberts teaching about single hood, courtship and marriage. I’d recommend it to you too.

What’s your dating life like? Is it dating or courtship. Courtship is dating, with the intent to marry or see if we’re compatible while dating is ‘let me see if I like it’👀👀. I think courtship is more responsible, what do you think? Let me know in the comments.
Love, S

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14 Comments

  1. Pingback: Wellness: Love Blog Challenge 2018 – Sarah nderi

  2. Brita February 9, 2018 at 2:40 pm

    It’s good to focus on you before worrying about dating. My dating philosophy was casual, but I only went on four first dates. My first date with my husband was only my third first date. I had one other first date between my first and second date with my husband. Then it was only him until we got married. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Sarah February 9, 2018 at 2:50 pm

      That’s great, that way you guard your heart. Not because you’re afraid of hurt but we avoid the spill effect it has on other aspects of our lives.

      Reply
    2. allazeremmert May 10, 2018 at 6:01 am

      Wow..how lucky you were to find someone who later became your husband..am happy for you. These days getting a partner who has true love for u is so hard…and that’s why someone once said.”do not be amazed that someone likes you,ask yourself for how long are they going to like you because human beings change!!”

      Reply
  3. charlenemarie11 February 9, 2018 at 11:59 pm

    I totally agree that if you have to compromise too much, it’s not love. I mean sure there is going to be some compromising in a serious relationship, but it should be give and take. Not just being stomped on. Also, it is very important to date yourself and get to know youself. You go girl!

    Reply
    1. Sarah February 10, 2018 at 3:47 am

      Yes, in a serious relationship there has to be some compromise, give and take, but your Faith should never be something you compromise, or the things that fulfil you. Thanks Charlene.

      Reply
  4. shekinahngandu February 14, 2018 at 2:50 pm

    Hey sarah so i guess i have the courtship and dating mixed up..my question on this is..is courting in the context of uv already met the 1 and ure in a relationship with clear goal of marriage?

    Reply
    1. Sarah February 14, 2018 at 3:09 pm

      Yes. There’s no intimacy of any kind (not that one should be doing this actually, in my opinion). You can always part ways if you’re not compatible. As for dating it’s more ‘let me see if I like it’ kinda thing. Courtship is better and more serious than dating. A person can be dating more than 5 people…😕

      Reply
      1. shekinahngandu February 14, 2018 at 7:38 pm

        I see why thats crazy am sticking to what i know then

        Reply
  5. Enikanoselu 'Kizo' Daniels February 14, 2018 at 6:29 pm

    So, I developed this practice in my mind (before my second relationship, which was in my last year in the University) where I don’t see anyone I was going into a relationship with as a girlfriend or whatever. I consciously referred to her as my partner.
    That was a lot helpful cos the girlfriend / boyfriend seems too much of a child’s play to me. The ‘partner’ thingy helped me keep things in perspective of it ending in marriage.
    That didn’t end in marriage, but it put a lot of serious perspective into it. I was not discussing frivolities with her, I was already planning my life with her. Discussing real issues.
    My adopted opinion as a Christian gives that relationship issues has to be treated with certainty. Not jumping from one person to the other. That kinda makes that courtship is what should be practiced, not guess work dating. I see all these as tag names, but of it was about tags, courtship definitely wins.

    Reply
    1. Sarah February 14, 2018 at 6:55 pm

      👏👏. Courtship definitely wins, it’s more open and involves people in authority say an accountability partner or pastor.
      Dating is not serious because dating can sometimes be whimsically following our feelings. I’ve never thought about partner, it seems logical. Discussing real life issues is great as that translates to a growth oriented relationship.
      Overall, I think it best to evaluate one’s current situation in life, spiritually and physically. Don’t be unequivocally yoked and at the same time if you need more work done on you, then let that happen rather than be a hindrance to a persons spiritual growth. Thanks Daniel.

      Reply
      1. Sarah February 14, 2018 at 6:56 pm

        *unequally

        Reply

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