Improve your Relationship by Knowing Partner’s Love Language

If we approach love with healthy hearts, we don’t complain of boredom with our partners.~Kris Gage.

Photo by Ryan Holloway on Unsplash

The #LoveBlogChallenge is here and the first week we are talking about love languages and how they affects us and our relationships. This doesn’t mean our romantic relationships but our familial and platonic relationships as well.

If you are yet to find out your love languages you can read this book; The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman or you can take this on line test for free. (input link). You don’t have to be in a romantic relationship to take the test. They have a test for singles as well.

There are five love languages and the test will rank the highest score as 12. The love languages are; Acts of Service, Physical touch, Quality time, Receiving Gifts and words of affirmation.

Test Results as a Taken Lady

Here are my results from the highest to the lowest in rank.

9- Physical touch

7-Acts of Service.

7- Quality Times.

4-Receiving Gifts.

3-Words of affirmation

Test Taken as a Single Lady

9-Physical Touch

8-Quality Time.

6-Words of affirmation.

5- Acts of Service.

2- Receiving Gifts.

You can see that for me Physical touch is the highest in rank. I love love forehead kisses first and foremost. Physical touch doesn’t always mean physical intimacy but can also mean; holding hands, pats on the back, neck and back rubs, and thoughtful touches on the arms, shoulder or face.

The thing with physical touch is the strength it has to build a connection while encouraging thoughtfulness and a sense of security and belonging in a relationship. Click to Tweet

This love language goes hand in hand with Quality time as you can see from my results. Which is understandable because you have to be next to someone to touch them.

Know Your Partners Love Language

Having unexpressed expectations in a relationship is a key factor in causing it to crumble. You are going to be angry at someone when they fall short on things they didn’t even know they were supposed to do.

Which is the same with understanding your partner’s love language. You are basically loving them the way you’d want to be loved as opposed to how they want to be loved.Now of course our Partner’s love language could be something we hate doing. For example if acts of service is their love language, they love it when you vacuum, or do the laundry or garden which may not be something you like to do. But we do it for them; because that’s how they want to be loved.

Are you loving someone based on how they want or how you want? Do you and your partner understand your love languages? If not take this test and start from there.

You may also like Love Blog 2018: Dating, Love, Relationships and Compromise

 

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6 Comments

  1. Charlene Maugeri February 4, 2019 at 8:00 am

    It’s interesting to me that Acts Of Service meant more to me when you were taken. The same sort of thing happened with my results. The longer I’ve been married, the more points Acts gets in my test results.

    Reply
    1. Nderi Sarah February 4, 2019 at 3:08 pm

      Maybe my test results might change when I get married because obviously dynamics change but now they are what they are. It will be really interesting what they’ll be then, and what my partner’s will be.

      Reply
  2. Alessia February 4, 2019 at 9:44 am

    It’s so true that it applies to all kind of relationship. I had a difficult childhood as my parents are rubbish with words and I really needed words of affirmation. Through growing older and if honest, therapy, I was able to see I wasn’t as unloved as I felt, and why it was so difficult to love me as I needed and not as they wanted. It was a lesson in how not to love my partner!

    Reply
    1. Nderi Sarah February 4, 2019 at 3:03 pm

      I really understand what you mean by needing words of affirmation. I have learned to communicate what I want, and not to expect too much from people. Basically figuring out what’s my job and what’s their job. I am also unlearning a lot and relearning a whole lot. A site called desiringgod.org helps me unlearn rubbish I have picked up from past relationships, upbringing and past hurts.

      Reply
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