There are going to be casualties in any work of growth. In statistics you will have to tame the outliers or kick them away. When you set out to pursue self-growth, bad habits have to go. People that trigger bad habits and bad decision making have to go. You don’t hate them. You have just decided to love yourself more and pursue growth.
Don’t be a People Pleaser
If you have set out to grow, understand you’ll have to leave some relationships and people behind. If you have always been a people pleaser and keeping peace at your expense, you might want to go back and keep the peace. Don’t do it. You’ll only do it at your expense, and hate yourself later because you knew it wouldn’t pan out.
Steven Pressfield, in his book, The War of Art says; The awakening artist must be ruthless not only with herself but with others . Once you make your break you can’t turn around for your buddy who catches his trouser leg on the barbed wire. The best thing you can do for that friend( and he will tell you that if he is really your friend) is to get over the wall and keep motating. The best and only thing that one artist can do for another is to serve as an example and an inspiration.
You must be willing to let go of relationships that no longer serve purpose or relationships that pull you down. I dislike superficial conversations and relationships. If you ask me how I am doing, you will get a definitive answer of what I am doing at that time. I love depth, particularly if the relationship is one that encourages me to grow and mutate.
Your friends and family might seem to be against you if you set out on personal growth.
They don’t know how to relate with the new you. This is a you they have not seen and will take a while to get accustomed to. Or they are yet to face their obstacles or what Pressfield calls Resistance, and create what they were created to create; seeing that we are all co-creators with God.They are not against you, but it aches them that they too are yet to figure out the reason as to why they exist. There is a part in every human being, that throws tantrums when it is not expressed or when repressed.
Take Your craft seriously
This means it is not a weekend gig. If it is always on your mind, every time, every day. Just do it. Don’t mind about success or failure. Just set out to do and make those baby steps because cumulatively those steps make the difference.
Pursue it, express your inner creative. The Muse will only whisper to you when you are active. Or actively honing your craft. Pursue, create, and revel in the contentment that comes when we express our creative self.
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