Are Women their "own worst Enemies?"

People are just too lazy to investigate the causes or factors underlying or do any research.

“Three women holding each other, all wearing denim jackets.” by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

Last week I wrote about the term, “Women are their own worst enemies” and upon further examination and extrapolation of my thoughts by my friend and I, I came to a conclusion: People are just too lazy to investigate the causes or factors underlying or do any research.

The term women covers a whole range if not all female human species. It is not adequate to say all women are this way because several women are this way or have behaviors that fit into this phrase. There are women who are all about uplifting other women and others have built companies solely for this purpose.

Are Artificialities a cause?

In this era of makeup, fashion, couture and more makeup; it is possible that these artificialities are part of the problem. When women begin competing amongst themselves and basing their importance on these parameters. If we compete on this parameters or base our importance from makeup, fashion or other artificial variables then we miss the point. We miss the beautiful person underneath or the pro, or a person to collaborate with.

To be taken seriously in this world, women have to do the most at times. Make up is one of them. As Wanda Sykes says; “It’s Halloween everyday.”Is it possible to then separate the makeup and the person? To understand that makeup or no makeup is a choice? Will there be a time when TV interviews will be held with no make up team involved? Where we can appreciate and accept the beauty of a human being and body in it’s form and not judge people based on freckles, moles etc?

Makeup is great. Makeup can really enhance and bring out the best features in a person and I am all for that. However it is not a parameter when basing output, success,or intelligence.

Which Women?

Women from my part of the world are said to be husband batterers. This is because there has been a rise in this incidences and it is alarming. However, saying women from that part of the world are batterers does not do them any justice. I am from there and I have never witnessed the battery or know someone it happened to. These are just incidences, and the fact that they are increasing points to a larger problem underneath.

Instead of a blanket phrase, further research would show that men in the said region have become deadbeat, alcoholics, abusive (verbally and physically), absenteeism, and other society ills. While this does not justify battery, it is a step in the right direction. Identify the underlying causes then move towards change. A blanket phrase will instead group everyone and not solve anything.

Same case applies to “women are their own worst enemies.” Which women?

We become our own worst enemies when we are not in harmony with ourselves, or are out of touch with ourselves. It is also possible to project our own fears and doubts on others. When we are in harmony with ourselves, we are at peace with person we are; with and without makeup. We are not threatened by the physical appearance of other people, longer hair or longer legs. We know what works for us and what does not.

Level of Success

There is enough shine for everyone at the top. Competition is not limited to women only. Men also compete. The problem with competition however, is that it denies you the chance to be authentic and denies the world your authentic self. While everyone tries to mirror the next person then everyone does the same thing, it does not bring diversity. Diversity is a good thing, it gives us more options.

Understand that it is not wrong to work within your time-lines and those do not have to suit the next person’s time-line.

Competition and envy are sometimes inevitable and sometimes people just find themselves competing. But what about collaboration? We are all trying to shine and making these time bombs but what about when we come together? What would we make? An explosion!

Next time you feel a pang of envy towards anyone, congratulate them and ask them how they did it. You’ll be surprised that you can do it or at their willingness to help you.


Lift the next person up. Go past your insecurities, fear doubt or envy. Change the status quo.

You may also like; WOMAN, Thou Art LOOSED! : Book Review.


Subscribe to my email list to get my two cents on how to Live, Love & Inspire here

(Visited 40 times, 1 visits today)


  1. Pingback: Lessons learnt from Things I will Tell my Daughter by Joan Thatiah. – Sarah nderi

  2. Pingback: Lessons Learnt from Things I will tell My Daughter by Joan Thatiah

  3. Pingback: Sometimes We Need a Friend, Not a Verse. Be that Friend.

Leave a Reply