What Self Care Looks Like Beyond Pampering

I am tempted to buy scented candles to add to my writing desk. Somehow, my brain has convinced me that I need the lavender and vanilla scents to conjure words, stories and articles that will move clients and my bank account balance to where I want it to be. Whether the candles will help me write every day or I have finally been sold to the self-care epidemic is something I’m not sure about.

Aromatherapy is not something that I have read much about, to express in details our boy’s reaction to scents and smells. I can imagine my nose and my brain love it, as to what extent, I’m not sure.

I appreciate cosy lifestyles and Pinterestic spaces as much as the next person, but I am quite sure real houses don’t look like that. Or maybe they do, in which case they took a lot of work, time and money which I’m afraid, I don’t have.


Self Care is Beyond Candles, Face Masks, Baths or Being Just Another Trend

There is so much being sold to us in the name of self-care that we forget to work from the inside out.

If you have to sell me anything, let it be food, books, tickets to travel destinations and writer’s conferences when I’m able to afford them.

Sometimes I think we have forgotten how to seat in silence and get in touch with our souls. How to listen to music in your house, dance and enjoy it with no rush. How to make a meal from scratch, sit down and have it without being on our gadgets. How to be present and worse, how to hold conversations.

I’m not against creating nooks and crannies or spaces in our houses where we can give ourselves a little bit of pampering and love. I’m all for baths, manicures, pedicures, face masks and face scrubs. I love seeing designated places in a house set for one to cosy up and read or play a game.

What I’m against is the idea that bubble baths and wine is the only way to self-care. These can be a gateway or a way to let out pent up emotions. To still your body and your mind enough to listen to your soul.

Last year, I was spinning my wheels with my writing and my life until I crashed and burned. I said yes to too many things that did not matter, not to mention moving out and having to be there for sick family members.


Self Care is Saying No Any Time You Can’t Say Yes

I came across a tweet that said, ‘If it doesn’t raise my vibration or my bank account balance, then the answer is, “no thank you.” This is my 2020 mantra

In 2020 let’s focus on our vibration and our bank account balance. No one is entitled to your time unless you give it to them. Brene Brown says that people who have firm boundaries are the people who are the most compassionate.

They show up for people because they want to, and thus they can enjoy these interactions more.


Self Care is Being Kind To Others

They’re always something that you can do to help others. It doesn’t have to involve money. You can evaluate a friend’s side business, volunteer at a shelter or children’s home. You can also set up to do 30 acts of kindness within a certain time period.


Self Care is Learning Skills Necessary To Live and Survive

Maybe you need to learn how to negotiate or ask for better compensation with regards to your services.

Or you need to learn how to be more outspoken and how to talk about your strengths.

They’re Google Courses for this, free books on Goodreads or books that go for at least 0.99 dollars.

We all can enhance our skills in one or another, and there is no reason we can’t do it while waiting for the face maks to settle.


Self Care is Being Grateful For Being Alive and The Tiny Things We Take For Granted

I’m writing this article while enjoying a cold breeze. It’s sunny outside and I’ll soon go out to enjoy the Nairobi sun. Just a few days ago, we lost Kobe, his daughter, and his friends to a plane crash.

Life is fragile. As the preacher in Ecclesiastes says, enjoy your youth and your wealth and be thankful.

Control the controllable, be grateful for life and thank your Higher Power for a chance to see a new day.


Self Care is Dropping The Habit You Need To Drop

There’s always a habit to drop. That one thing in which our lives will be much better if only we would drop it.

Find out why you’re still holding on to the habit. The emotional or psychological reason as to why you can’t drop it then work towards dropping it.


Self Care is Spending Time With Your Family

One of the things I took away from the book Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso, is that before you get to 30 years, you need to identify where/ whose place you can go to let go or break down.

For me, that’s my sister’s place.

I also came across another piece that said before you decide your life is falling apart, visit your family.

A family puts things into perspective. You might not be related by blood, but family is family.


Self Care is Processing Your Emotions and Past Trauma

You might need to journal.

You might need to go to a therapist.

Sometimes our past trauma holds us back from achieving what we ought to be achieving or being authentic in who we are and what we believe in.

Get a journal, process everything. Se a therapist when you can.


In Conclusion

  • Say no when you can’t say to yes.
  • Be kind to others.
  • Learn the skills you need to learn to survive.
  • Process your past traumas
  • Quit the habits you need to quit.
  • Spend more time with your family.


Self Care


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  1. Pingback: 4 Steps To Self Care Following a Traumatic Event - Nderi Sarah Blog

  2. Pingback: Corona Virus: How To Manage Work-Life Balance - Nderi Sarah Blog

  3. Muriuki Sammy March 31, 2020 at 6:47 pm

    Hello Sarah. This is a nice article

  4. sam March 31, 2020 at 6:55 pm

    Hey Sarah. This is a nice article.


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