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things I will tell my daughter

If you have been following my Instagram and Facebook stories, you know I have been reading THINGS I WILL TELL MY DAUGHTER by JOAN THATIAH.
I’ve always wanted to read it and I finally did. My sister bought it for herself and I borrowed it (perks of having an older sibling.)  It took me a while but yesterday as I was waiting for a meeting to start I finished it.
It’s such an interesting read and it advises girls and daughters on money, womanhood, relationships, love and embracing one’s self. Let’s dig in:

Key Take-Aways To Pass To Your Daughter

  1. The greatest victory, my child, isn’t in learning to love the skin you are in. It is in owning it.
  2. Let someone else show up, some of the time. When you are out there taking care of everyone, always ask yourself, who is taking care of you?
  3. Be an informed feminist. Feminism is a choice. If you choose to be a feminist, be an informed one.
  4. There is nothing dirty or shameful about the naked female form.
  5. The world owes you nothing. Take that chip off your shoulder, its unnecessary baggage.
  6. Ignore the girl code. The only obligation you have as a woman is to be a decent friend.
  7. Say what you mean. Most of the time when it comes to matters of the heart, all you need to do is tell your truth.
  8. If you are seeking happiness or any semblance of it, my dear, steer clear of the unambitious man.
  9. To be an adult woman is to learn to resist the allure of the unavailable man.
  10. Don’t hold out on the butterflies. Marry the man who makes you feel good about yourself, not the one who gives you the butterfly feeling in your stomach. Butterflies are scientifically related to anxiety and reduced blood flow to certain areas in the body.
  11. Do not play wife until you are. Playing wife isn’t a stage leading to marriage, dating is.
  12. Flaunt your femininity. Your femininity is your greatest charm, embrace it. It isn’t something to be hidden or to be ashamed about.

  13. The boardroom is no place for tears. Crying is good for your soul but for your career, not so much.
  14. Money is not evil. Money isn’t the root of all evil. You must start seeing money for what it is, not what it isn’t.
  15. The impostor syndrome; is self-doubt is not humility.
  16. It is better to be the girl with a tag over her head than to live the rest of your life wondering about your worth.
  17. Money is happiness. Don’t listen to them; there is no comfort in being broke.
  18. Family is family. Family doesn’t always come in a perfect gift box wrapped up with shiny ribbons.
  19. Ask for help. Asking for help will not make you a bad mother.
  20. It takes a village to raise a man. No matter how good you are as a mother you will not be able to teach your son to be a man.
  21. If you have a daughter, a father figure counts. Her father is the lens through which your little girl will see other men.
  22. Don’t stay for the children. Staying in a union you do not want to be in for your children isn’t heroic, it is selfish.
  23. The right time to have a baby is when the conception is all about you.


Those lessons are outlined in chapters, each chapter a lesson. I loved the chapter on money and it opened my eyes, especially on impostor syndrome. Definitely a subject I look forward to discussing with my daughter. This book was a thought-provoking read and I look forward to when Letters to my son by Joan Thatiah will be out. If we are talking to daughters, we might as well talk to sons.

Which book have you been reading? Let me know in the comments.
Love, S.

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